14 October 2005

Gunfighter Diary Desert Shield 28 Aug 90


Peewee and Clark 2 delicious MREs, probably Chicken ala King and Dehydrated Pork Patties. Mmmm Mmmm, that's good eatin!

28 AUG 90

160179, 2K2, test flight.3, FCF, Mooch

Got lots of mail today. My dad sent pictures of my family. He had talked to my brother and they feel the same way I do, not wanting family to worry about things that they can not change. He was glad to hear that I was a Captain and that everyone is in good health. Hans Peter, my brother in law in the German Air Force, was just in Goose Bay on the 21st for training. Golly, just missed him. If we’d have known, I’m sure we could have delayed there for a week or so, didn’t seem like too bad of a place. He says that he still thinks about me coming to his winging in Victorville and is proud of his “Marine helicopter pilot”. He claims he’d be a good soldier, especially since he would not be distracted by booze and broads over here.
Flying more tactical VIP. Tents are here, but still no cots, plus other units coming in with cots take those tents since they have nowhere to stay, so now we’re starting to run out of tents too. Water is still no problem, unless something closes the local plant down. Still showering with the hose in the “water closet”. No field mess yet, no PX, just MREs and water. Some pogey bait is starting to trickle in, obviously overlooked on the priority shipping manifests. Maybe we can get the docs and chaplains to work on that, support morale and all.
Starting to rinse out the oil coolers on the birds on a regular basis, to keep the oil temps down. Lots of sand gets sucked up into there when we land off the airfield. Sometimes the overhead circuit breaker panel gets so hot it pops breakers, so we either pop some fasteners to drop them down a little or have Avionics come out with some cans of freon to cool them off. Throw your MRE up on the glareshield though, and you’ll have a nice hot lunch in a few minutes. Turning up on the ramp, the outside air temp gauge is pegged at 50 degrees C, but we just grin, bear it and try not to pass out. At least we have a nomex flight suit, survival vest and helmet to keep all the sun off of us. And a nice big fan slinging around overhead. Lucky for us it’s not a dry heat, the humidity stay around 30-40 percent because of our vicinity to the Gulf and predominant wind from the south. Cools down at night though, somewhere around 0100. Not that I’m complaining, I’m hoping that the environment is not conducive to the parasites and bugs we are starting to hear more about.
Drinking lots of water, last I heard we were suppose to drink about 8 gallons a day, possibly more, according to the media. Thinking of running, but not seriously. Getting plenty of rest, haven’t lost any weight yet. Maybe the 3000 calories per MRE. I’m thinking that DoD should consider using the oatmeal cookie bar as ammo for the space rail gun project. As far as we can tell, it appears to be the second hardest substance known to man, second only to the MRE toilet paper. It’s kind of like sawdust, laced with sand and glue, compacted in a black hole and then fired in a kiln for several hundred years. Load up a cookie bar, pack it in with some TP, and fire away! Russians beware. Also coming soon to your town, the delicious dehydrated pork patty (DPP). I thought the Saudis were checking this stuff before it got in country? Sure, let the pork patties in. Maybe if we lobbed a few into Kuwait, the Iraquis would pack up and go home. I know they have us demoralized. You can hear the cries of anguish when someone goes to get an MRE from the box and sees there’s only one left, they know which one it is without even looking. It is one of the unspoken rules now that it’s not polite to rummage through the box to avoid the DPP, but to suck it up and eat it like a man if you grab one. Personally, I don’t think there’s enough water on the planet to rehydrate one, and I have become adept to listening for the sound of a freshly opened MRE box, which means the odds are 12 to 1. As they say, timing in life is everything.
Heard Spot was on TV, Lord help us all. And according to a poll conducted by USA Today, 100 percent of the people polled over here would rather be somewhere else! No ones on my nerves yet, Spot and Irish actually nap during the day sometimes. Still wouldn’t know about whether a cot will be unbearable as I don’t have one yet. Hello cot will also equal goodbye air conditioning. I gripe about cots, the grunts will probably sleep in the sand the whole time they’re here with only a poncho liner, and be grateful for it. God bless ‘em. Some of the privileged few may get a real nice canvas HMMV seat. Reminds me of the bit where the guys are complaining, “when I was growing up, we lived in a box in the middle of the road” and the other guy says “you had a box? Luxury!”

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